Busch, D. B., & Starling, J. R. (1986). Rectal foreign bodies: Case reports and a comprehensive review of the world's literature. Surgery, 100, 512-519.

Abstract

The surgical management of two patients presenting with incarcerated, apparently self-inserted foreign bodies is reported. The large volume of prior literature on this subject is reviewed, with tabulation of 182 previous cases by type and number of objects recovered and with a discussion of patients' age distribution, history, complications, and prognosis. Management problems addressed include history, differential diagnosis of reported pruritus ani, and handling of suspected assault. The variety of surgical techniques used to remove rectal foreign bodies transanally or after celiotomy is discussed. Vaginal foreign bodies and large bowel injuries due to fist fornication, colorectal instrumentation, pneumatic rupture, foreign body ingestion, impalement, and abdominal trauma are also discussed.

A 39-year-old married white male lawyer presented with a self-inserted perfume bottle in his rectum that he was unable to remove using various objects, including a back scratcher. He had inserted this bottle on previous occasions. Edema of the rectum and sigmoid colon precluded the successful manual removal of the object in the emergency room. ... The 3 by 17 cm object, "Impulse Body Spray," was removed manually after a spinal anesthetic.

Table I. Previously reported recovered foreign bodies

* Patient complained of "knife-like pain"

** Cannot exclude ingestion

*** Unique case of pedunculated perianal skin tumor habitually inserted into rectum

**** Multiple episodes of perirectal self-insertion

***** Inside a convict; contained saws and other items usable in escape attempts

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From: Robert Bragner <robertb@DORUK.COM.TR>

Subject: 50 ways to flame your gerbil. (Off to gays, gerbils)

This purportedly appeared in the LA Times:

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"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed the cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out, 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot, but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out of the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers, which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball." Tomaszewski suffered second-degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second-degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

(And you thought that the light at the end of the tunnel was just a muzzle flash.)

Also see:

· Don’t forget your toothbrush -- British Dental Journal 191, 27 - 28 (2001)

· What did we get stuck in our rectums?

· X-Rated X-Rays